For some bands it’s not all just about the music; it is also a matter of taste.
Hot chilli sauce has been a favourite feature of merchandise stalls, from The Sword’s “Tears of Fire Hot Sauce” and Heaven’s Basement’s own “Fire Fire” sauce, to Offspring’s Dexter Holland who created his very own “Gringo Bandito” sauce for supermarket shelves.
Then we have beer. Iron Maiden’s “Trooper Beer” was launched this week. Then there’s top beer connoisseurs/marketers/creators, Signature Brew, who have been responsible for launching brands for a number of artists like Professor Green with “Remedy” beer and, the choice in question today, Enter Shikari’s “Sssnakepit Beer”.
Yes, I succumbed to gimmickry, like any other fan, in order to get the chance to get more than just a “taste” of the band I admire, and bought a few bottles of the stuff. It tastes good. Thankfully it lacks the sweat and blood of a hard working bunch of lads but, like them, however, it is pleasant and lively, having the refreshing zing of citrus and bitter hops.
So, here comes the plan. I am a Keith Floydian sucker for splashing in a bit of this and that into my cooking and Sssnakepit Beer was just the ingredient I had been waiting for. No!! I hear you shout! Don’t waste it!
As I said, it is citrusey. There is definite pineapple in there and if cheese and pineapple is a retro marriage made into spikey hedgehogs, then cheese and Sssnakepit Beer was going to be an elopement; a love affair; a divine relationship, made into ……………… fondue.
It’s easy – sooo easy! It’s basically a posh sauce swept up by chunks of bread and, if you can be bothered, roughly chopped salad stuff like cucumber, tomatoes, peppers, even raw cauliflower and mushrooms (button is best; sadly Shiitake are probably too exotic for this. Enter Shiitake? Yeah? Anyway..) You don’t need a fondue pot with all those fancy skewers and flame burners. This can be made and eaten straight from a saucepan.
So, if you are compos mentis and capable, (ha ha) this would be a satisfying post gig munchie before bed! Just be careful not to burn the bottom of the pan and stir all the time (and be prepared for some weird and cheesy dreams until the next morning!)
Sssnakepit Beer Fondue serves 2 people (Double the ingredients for 4 people)
What you need:
One medium saucepan. Wooden spoon. Measuring jug.
Selection of salad stuff or thick bread or both
250g (half pound) grated cheddar cheese
¼ pint Sssnakepit Beer (yes – there’s still some left to drink!)
Large knob of butter
Heaped teaspoon of corn flour
Pinch of pepper
What to do with it all:
First, if you are feeling healthy chop a load of crunchy fresh stuff from the salad drawer, thus:
or if it’s stodge you’re craving, roughly cube up some chunky bread.
Next make the fondue:
1. Grate and weigh the cheese
2. Then take one bottle of Sssnakepit Beer. Open it, carefully. Pour ¼ pint into a measuring jug.
3. Melt butter in the saucepan over a medium heat and add the grated cheese and the Sssnakepit Beer, reserving a small amount of it in the jug.
4. Next, put one heaped teaspoon of corn flour into the jug with the beer and a pinch of black pepper and stir until creamy.
5. Turn up the heat under the saucepan and stir the cheese, beer and butter mix until the cheese has melted.
6. Add the corn flour mix from the jug to the saucepan and continue to stir until the sauce thickens, turning down the heat if it begins to bubble too vigorously.
7. That’s it! Then skewer some bread or a salady item (with a fork is fine if you don’t have skewers) and scoop up your sauce with it and eat. Perfect!
Maybe rock and roll cookware suppliers Megachef could produce A Flash Flood of Fondue or Enter Shiitake apron? C’mon! You know you want to!!
Whatever next? Airbourne “Black Dog Barking” dog biscuits”? I’ll telephone Pedigree Chum in the morning.