Previously written for a friend heading to Sonisphere Festival 2014, this versatile poem instantly becomes a bespoke ditty for anyone heading to any music festival. Just replace the name in the first verse with that of your own or a friend and subsequently the “she” to “he” if applicable and change the title of the festival to the one you are lucky enough to get time off work for and Bingo! The verses are yours!
Kitty went to Glasto
to see her favourite bands.
She spied a flying pint of beer
which sprayed her hair and hands.
It was no beer, this was clear,
but toxic waste and human,
a frothy bevvie, she did fear,
brewed by a desperate fan.
The crowd then parted like the waves,
and Kitty gained some extra space.
She couldn’t damn that reckless man,
he’d really made the perfect land!
The stage was clear and in her sight;
now she needn’t push or fight.
Thanks to the fan who’d relieved his gear
(At least it wasn’t from his rear!)